Thought for the day…sometimes the “un-therapeutic thing is actually “therapeutic”.
Today I spoke to another parent and they were considering putting a TV in their child’s room, she thought it would be bad parenting. While normally I would not suggest electronics in a bedroom, in this case it sounds like a very good idea. In this case I would call it self care, much needed, and a tool that can be used in a therapeutic way.
How is this possible? Well, it will have strong boundaries, not be used for punishment, and not be used right before bed. It will be a tool to allow that particular child to feel safe enough to stay in their room long enough to give the family a much needed break. Is it using the TV for babysitting? I suggest that no it isn’t. This child is able to stay in one spot when there are other sounds and visuals happening. The TV makes being in their room, possible.
This parent will now have hopefully one hour a day to actually stop, to rest. The other children in the home wont be arguing and fighting, being nagged by constant need for input by the child. There will now hopefully be enough peace in the home to allow for some healing, and self care.
Is this right for every child and every home? No, for my home it would actually make one of my children never leave their room! Another would likely get violent. I do have one though that have grown up and do have their own TV.
Each child has their own needs. Each family has their own experience. Sometimes what is not therapeutic for one family, is therapeutic for another.
While you are using your Therapeutic Parenting, and you find something that works to calm down your child and steadies your life, don’t all out reject it because you don’t think it is “therapeutic”. The tools we use suit the need we have, and just need to be implemented in a way that caused no further harm. If it builds on the connection, builds on the health of the family, then it may be more therapeutic than you think.
One other note. This family has already built a strong attachment, all the hard work has already been done…now it is time for a much needed break to enable further growth and this is OK.