Thought for the day…This week I cut my finger, it was an accident, but it hurt just the same. Here is my “thought” during the time of healing It continues to break open and the pain occurs again. It is still healing, I am doing all I can to protect it, but it still cracks open and healing is delayed.
Why do I share this lovely example of my cut finger? Healing takes time and sometimes it is painful. My finger is a great example of doing everything right, but still being in pain. I have bandaged, used salve, and I keep it clean. I want my finger to heal, so that my hand is more useful. With our children how often do we wish that they would just “heal”? We do all of the right things, we therapeutically parent, we accept them, love them and fill all their bodily needs. Why do they still struggle? Why can’t they just “heal”?
Some injuries take longer, need more time to heal, and like my finger they may get bumped or bruised and become “re-injured”. Their initial injury and pain may become triggered. My finger will heal but may leave behind a small scar. Your child’s injuries may do the same. Will that spot on my finger be extra sensitive? Yes, it will likely be sensitive for a while, and it will take a lot of time to properly heal. Your child’s trauma, their pain, is likely a much deeper wound than my simple finger cut. With this in mind, it will likely take them much much longer to heal.
When you are frustrated that they still show signs of their trauma, when you are dealing with the triggers and your child is showing the pain they are in, remember that during healing we can be re-injured and the pain can re-emerge. healing does not happen in a day and when it comes to trauma it might not even happen in a year. If your child’s trauma lasted 7 years, then look at it taking longer than that to heal. My finger was cut in a split second, but it will take much longer than that second to heal.
Give them time to heal. Continue doing what you are to support them. They will slowly heal and begin feeling better, but it wont be overnight and their wounds may be triggered and bring their pain back…even while they heal. This is normal, just keep doing what you are doing, it will get better.