Thought for the day…if it isn’t in your realm of control let it go. I am not going to say that I don’t fall into worry on occasion, but I truly believe that worry is a wasted emotion, all it does is drain the person worrying of their energy, peace of mind and sleep. Worry in effect has no positive benefit to our lives, it sucks us dry. When we spend all of our time worrying about possible outcomes, then we also waste our precious time trying to sort possible fixes instead of actually spending time on what we really have power over. What ends up happening is we become exhausted, consider worry like a vampire…it sucks us dry. How do we stop the endless cycle of worry?
First, look at the situation and ask yourself if it is yours to deal with? If not then you let it go. Worrying about a problem that has nothing to do with you is not beneficial. If you have no power over the situation then trying to exert your power will just drain your energy and have no effect on any outcome other than by creating more drama.
Second, is it actually another person’s decision and are they allowed to make mistakes? Often when it comes to our children we spend our time and energy trying to keep them from making mistakes. We don’t want them to make the same mistakes that you did. You want to protect them from harm, from being hurt. I do understand this, but we cannot protect them from this very normal part of growing up. You can be there with acceptance and empathy. You can give them information, but you cannot make them take your suggestions or stop them from choosing differently from your choices. This you have to let go.
Third, take control of the areas in your life that you do have control over. You can control your life and your reactions. You can control your choices and what you do. Having a balanced life and not letting worry suck you dry is about taking control of what you can and letting go of what you can’t.
Do I make it sound easy? Yes, I probably do, but I also know it is not as easy as it sounds. With this in mind…one day at a time is good enough. Just try. Find one thing to let go of and one thing to control. Can you control your child and their unwillingness to eat peas? no. Can you control the peas on your plate? yes Can you offer the peas to the child? yes. Can you control the yucky face they make at the peas? no. Focus on those things you can control.
Yes, there are bigger and more profound issues, but if you focus on the small things, if you practice letting go of what you have no control over when it doesn’t really matter, then it makes those things that are more important easier to deal with because you have practiced. Practice your skills, learning what is in your control and what isn’t. Start with the small stuff and you will find that “worry” is not longer the vampire it once was.