Thought for the day….I just got called a “git”. Of course it was meant to offend, but instead of getting offended I sang the “git” song. I was quite proud of it as you can rhyme many words with it. I had fun, smiled and just sang my heart out. The child in question (the one who called me a git) started to get quite upset that I was not getting angry. Eventually they just changed tactics and there was no escalation. Why is this? This is because when our children try to recreate their trauma, and you don’t add to it, you don’t get pulled in, they don’t know what to do. It can totally change diffuse the whole situation.
First thought for this is just to stay calm and make it fun (it works). But the biggest thought I would like you to take away is that our children will try to re-create their trauma because that is where they are comfortable. It is very very important that you do not get pulled in, even if it frustrates them. Do not become a part of the trauma cycle.
Stay playful. Don’t get offended. Most of all stay aware of when they are trying to re-create their trauma cycle and understand what is happening. They do this without thinking…remember…it is normal to them. (yes, even if they have been with you for years, it has been hardwired into their brains and bodies). If you can see what is happening, you can help them to step out of that trauma cycle long enough to do some healing.