This week I got to experience teenaged drama. Then I had a friend share the same struggle, they too were dealing with teenaged drama and issues from their teenagers mistakes that were made. Part of me wants to pull all of my hair out, then a part of me calmly smiled and then patted myself on the back (and patted my friend on the back) for a job well done. Why job well done? Because enough of their trauma was healed that they were actually able to show normal teenaged emotions and growth.
Teenagers are supposed to make mistakes, to push buttons and just generally push the boundaries that you set up. Being a teenager is a period in life where they struggle between childhood and adulthood. Where their brains begin to create new pathways and new ways of thinking. They do things that do not make sense, but that is normal. They do things to annoy you, but this too is normal. Why is this something that I rejoice in? Because they have healed enough to actually begin to grow in an age appropriate and healthy way.
We have done all of the work, all of the therapeutic parenting and all of the routine. Our boundaries, sleepless nights and tears are paying off. They healed enough that they can begin to react in “normal” and age appropriate ways.
Teenagers push, they vent, they act in annoying ways, but this is their brain growing and learning to become independent and learning to become adults. This is in no way easy for the parent, especially when there other issues such as learning disabilities, trauma, autism, or attachment disorder, but with the right knowledge and therapeutic intervention, you will make it through the next few years and into their adulthood.
If your high needs child is showing normal teenaged behaviour, pat yourself on the back, and keep up with the therapeutic parenting strategies that have worked and gotten them this far. You are doing great! While dealing with teenaged emotions is an additional pain, it also shows that they are growing and changing. You will get through this and they will too, just remind yourself that much of this is “normal” and that “normal” behaviour is really awesome growth! Pat yourself on the back for all the hard work you have done, well done you!