Thought for the day…Do not ask your child something if you are not ok with the choices you give. This morning I heard my husband ask our child a question, he asked “do you want to do this?” This doesn’t sound like a trick question, but it was. My child answered “no”. At this my husband said “well we are doing it” and my child got upset. Now why was this frustrating? If you give a child a yes and no question then you are allowing them to say “no”. Expecting them to answer what you want is not fair. If you don’t want them to say “no” then do not make it a possible answer.
How does this work when they need a choice? You ask “do you want to do Maths for 5 minutes or 10 minutes”. You let them decide how long, but you do not offer a choice that you are not happy with. The same goes for any choice. If you offer a choice between cake or fruit and your child chooses cake…whose fault is it that they chose the one thing you didn’t want them to have? If you want them to choose fruit then your offer should be “which would you like, half an apple or a whole apple?” or “The apple whole or the apple cut up?”
This is about you taking control, you the parent giving the choices that you are happy with. If you give choices that you aren’t happy with, and your child picks the choice you didn’t want, it is not their fault.
If you find your child or children at home are getting frustrated at choices, look and see if you are giving choices that you want, are realistic and are easy to understand. Making sure you only give two choices and only give a yes or no question if you are happy with both answers