Thought for the day

Thought for the day: We expect our children to behave, to not get angry or react in a negative way. We are surprised when they lack empathy or make mistakes. We look at them as if they are aliens from another planet because they can’t seem to keep their room clean or throw their tampon away. They don’t take a shower or they give you a funny look. They ask repeated questions or make a smirk instead of a smile. Guess what? A bit of tough love here…if we are expecting our kids to always keep their emotions under control and not over react, why is it ok for us to get upset at their smirk? Think about it…do you have emotions? Do they sometimes well up and then you say or do something you regret? you are an adult who has hopefully had a normal life and you still react emotionally and you still make mistakes. Stop for a second and think about this. Are we expecting children of trauma to act like us or better than us? Are we expecting them to behave and react in ways that they can’t? If we cry and throw a fit on occasion (and yes as an adult I will admit to times where I lose my cool), how do we expect our kids to deal with all they need to deal with in addition to developmental trauma and do it without being annoying or making mistakes? They don’t have the development that we have. They don’t have the experiences that we have. They are coming from a place of total loss, rejection and pain. I know it is hard, I understand how difficult it is and this is why Self care is so vital when raising our kids…I am just wondering if we are sometimes giving your kids expectations that are even higher than we give ourselves…and we aren’t children. Just a thought…Take care today and get your self care in.

Leave a Comment